A Diversion: Code BROWN

We're taking a slight diversion from the Vacation tales. These pics have nothing to do with the story, they are just cute ones I wanted to share.

Today's posting is not for the faint of heart! In fact, it is quite grody. It may be the grodiest thing you've read in a while. (sidebar: I am well aware the word 'grody' is straight out of late 80s Valley Girl speak, and I am well-aware that 'grodiest' is probably not even a word. But isn't it fun to just keep reading those two words and saying them in your head?!)

So, last night we had a pretty normal evening.. get home from work (oh- it's hot as all get out here- heat index of over 100 and half the city lost power last night- but not us Thank Heaven) around 6. Play with Eileen a little.. get some water boiling for pasta.. get a bottle made for her.. watch some news.. sit her down in her high chair to eat while Daddy finishes getting our dinner ready. Lately she just clams up and decides she just doesn't want to eat unless it's yogurt or cheerios. I decided maybe it was the highchair - bc the whole time we were gone and she ate on the floor or stroller she didn't once protest!- so Daddy drug out the portable highchair to see if the change of scenery helped.

Eh, it did a little, she decided she'd allow me to feed her some more. So then we're eating, and she did several poots. Eh. it's cute when a baby poots. Then it became evident that she was actually pooping b.c her face gets the color of a late summer tomato! So we let her do her thing and we finished dinner. Then I thought maybe she'd want to eat more since she'd made room in her tummy! She ate a little more and then she was done. Time for a tubby!

THAT turned out to be the understatement of the year! I unbuckle her, pick her up, and OH MY WORD. There is a mound of greenish brown POO in her chair. And on her leg. UGGGGGGGG. So I pick her up and have her at arm's length and am moving at mach speed to get upstairs to the bathroom to just dump her in the tub.

Thank Heaven we have hard wood floors.

So I am running thru the den, Josh right in front of me so he can start the water. In one nano second, but also in extreme slow motion, I hear ever so slightly 'PLOP' and then feel my flip flop sliding around on the floor. I freeze. Oh Lord, no. But Oh Lord yes. More POO fell smack out of her diaper and onto the floor! And there was splatter to go along with it! And to top it off Gracie was at my heels and then was fascinated by the mound, and evidently decided it would be a great after dinner snack. So there I am holding Eileen at arm's length, she's dripping poo and crying, and I am yelling at Gracie to get the hell away from the POO! Josh hadn't yet realized any of this was happening, and then was getting upset b.c I was yelling at the dog!

At this point I just laid her down on the floor. There was now poop on her toes! Those precious toes! I just start stripping her down, so thankful for easy to clean hardwood, Josh gets the dog locked in our bedroom and the tub running. Poor Eileen is crying and scared and can't figure out why I've just unceremoniously stripped her nekkid in the middle of the living room! I am somewhat mopping up the mound - at least the size of a baseball- with baby wipes and cloth diapers. Those things rock. I can't imagine using them as actual diapers- but as cloths/rags- fantastic! Those two however, went straight to the trash. I wasn't even going to begin trying to clean them. Oh, and my shoes. There were footprints of poo where I had danced around trying to figure out what the hell to do. I did have the foresight to take those off before heading up to the carpeted 2nd floor!

She and I made it upstairs and into the warm waiting water. Whew. Poor Josh was downstairs cleaning up the rest of the floor, my shoes, and portable high chair. And poor Gracie didn't know what to think; she eventually showed up at the tubbie with Piggie in mouth - bringing us her favorite toy to make it all better.

The whole event probably lasted all of 5-6 minutes, but it felt like ages. Once we got done with the tubby Eileen was back in high sprits, and I broke my 'no wine during the week' rule.

So, that was our eventful evening. Who said life in the burbs was boring!?!?

And no complaints about the ickyness level of this entry, you had fair warning!