Blizzard 2010 ... Sort of...

Soooo.. yet again.. we had The Storm That Wasn't.  Ok, to be fair.. there was some snow, and there was some ice.. but it kind of all seemed like much ado about nothing.

That, or my cynicism has begun to override my sensiblities.

From about Tuesday afternoon on.. the weather people were warning of the Massive Snowstorm on its way. So of course by Thursday at 6pm.. when it was roughly 51degrees out.. school for Friday was cancelled.  This is one of those times I am immensely thankful Eileen's school does not follow the County schedule.

Needless to say, Friday morning it was dry as a bone. And stayed that way til about 4pm. Then it snowed a lot.. and a lot.. and didnt stick to the streets... and then it did.. and then it was rain.. Good Lord not that you all want a play by play of the Knoxville weather patterns.

Bottom line.. we woke up Saturday morning to some snow with a layer of ice on top.. that turned to slush.. and I went to the gym.. along with the rest of West Knoxville. Then Josh, Eileen and I went to eat .. and killed some time at the Pet Store.. also along with the rest of West Knoxville. What else does one do with a stir-crazy 3year old when its nasty snowy cold and wet outside? Why, go look at Nemo and Gerbils and such at PetSmart!

So have you ever seen a chinchilla? Creepy little animal. Josh called it a pickle on toothpicks. And hey, it retails for just $150.00.   ewwwwwwwwwwwww.

So Eileen is full of well.. herself! That girl is a mess. I picked her up from school the other day just as another teacher came in.. scooped her up ... and said "what person in this school doesn't LOVE this girl?!"  oh Heaven Help Me.  Of course I love that they love her.. but oh lordy her head is going to explode.  

We were coming home the other day and she told me that one of her friends had cut her hair. So I corrected her and said her friend had gotten a haircut. "NO Mommy! She cut her hair!"  I never know these days what to believe .. so I didn't believe her.

Well.. I should have. Oh Goodness. One of her classmates completely chopped her hair. She's still precious - but oh Lordy. I will be putting all of our scissors higher than even I can reach.. for fear Eileen gets any ideas.

We have FINALLY managed to move past the binky. She no longer has one at bed or nap or in general.  Now.. if we could just get past the diapers. The girl refuses to go to the restroom on the potty. Today she told me she doesn't want diapers.. and so I said ok, lets use the potty.  "No Mommy, I'll use the potty in five weeks. "  At this point there is no use in continuing any sort of rational conversation with the tiny person of the household.

During this past weekend, when we had The Blizzard.. we did lose power for about 2 hours. It was early morning so we were all snuggled up in bed to stay warm. Eileen wanted to watch Disney. Have you ever tried to explain to a 3year old how electricity works? Lets just say this.. when it did come back on.. she said "Mommy? Did the Dunkin Donuts people turn on the elecristy"  no words. none. I have NO IDEA how that got into her head.

So the chaos has continued at work. I am thinking perhaps I should stop thikning of it as chaos, and start thinking of it as the Norm?  Perhaps then I won't keep waiting for it to slow down? On the bright side,.. its been so hectic that I rarely have time to eat.  I know. I'm weird.

So back to the Blizzard. By Saturday afternoon there was some more flurries. We played outside in it. Gracie was in doggie heaven.  So Josh found this sled under our house.. it was under our house when we moved in five years ago.

Oh yes. You read that right. Under the house. I had visions of tetanus shots for all. Well.. as you can see from the pics.. this was in the slush stage. So the sled didn't work. but cute pics right?  Fast Forward to Sunday morning. Everything had refrozen. Our street was a solid sheet of ice. And Josh and Eileen and Gracie were outside at 7:30am sledding!

And sled thet did. Eileen had a blast. As did Gracie. Me? You all know I'm Mother of the Year. I stayed wrapped up in bed.

So all in all.. there was no real Blizzard. At least not where we are. But definitely we got to have some fun in the snow. And as you can see... Eileen wore herself out. She is not one to fall asleep on the couch. In fact.. I don't think once in her little life has she ever done so. Clearly she had a blast.

So. I'm done with winter now. Ready for summer. Happy to skip right over spring. I hate storms anyway.. they still scare me. So.. summer. please. hurry.

Perception..

Argh.  So.. in the last post I was going on about how I had such great intentions of NOT having such complete chaos in my life.  Seeing as its been what.. 3weeks? since my last post.. clearly that's not working out so well.

And, also, if you remember.. in my last post I was irked bc it would not let me load up anymore pictures to the blog.  Ha. Seems as tho over the years I'd managed to fill up my 1GB of free storage. I can't fathom why. I so rarely take pictures. HAHAHA.  Anyway.. so for all of $5 .. the braintrust at google has sold me another chunk of storage. Up to 10K images per year. I think that should suffice for even me.

So. back to the chaos. We've been back at work for just two weeks and it has been insanity. All sorts of things going on. And while I know I have my days of just being completely and utterly overwhelmed, and ready to wield (did i spell that right?) my scissors at the stifling red tape.. I do like my job and I am well aware of just how very lucky I am to have a job.  I can still hope for a little calmness to ensue in coming weeks. Hope being a strong word.

In the meantime, I do have Eileen to help keep my head on straight. For example.. today is MLK Day. So she was off of school and I was off of work (Josh had to work).  So she and I ran some errands, hung out, then met Lani and Syd at the zoo. It was finally warm out.. and sunny too. Syd & Eileen ran around like children freed from a dungeon. Which was fine with me. So tonight I'm kissing her good night. I said "I had fun with you today." And she put her hands on my face and said "I know!"   sigh. So sad the child doesn't feel loved. So sad her self-esteem is in the crapper.

So anyway. Back to my title.. Perception. Funny how you can think something about yourself, and assume that everyone else thinks the same.  In my last post, I talked about some of my girlfriends who I am pretty certain are SuperWoman. I would like to hope they think the same of themselves, but they probably don't.  But I still perceive them as such...

So I was out with friends recently. One of said friends asked me if I thought less of him because of a possibly not so healthy habit. My first reaction was to be somewhat hurt that he'd think I'd judge him or anyone else.  I am about as far from a Saint as you can get, and I surely have no room to be judging others. Certainly not my friends.

Apparently he thought I was a total health nut, due to the fact that I run. A lot. Which made me laugh. And I promptly explained that I run to stay sane. That if I could, I'd sit around and eat and drink and sleep and any other possibly unhealthy habit that might be out there.  Running is my outlet. It is about me and only me (well, and sometimes my running partner and kicking his arse on a hill..).  It keeps me focused and sane. It is the one thing I can do that I can control, at which I can improve, and that is completely mine. It is the one thing that defines me outside of being a mom or my career. 

That is why I run. That is why I am attempting two full marathons and at least one half, if not two, this year. Not because I am a health nut. But because I am a control freak, and at least I can control my running. This particular habit just happens to have some healthy side effects.  And you know what? Its probably a little selfish too.. because of how much time it takes up. But I am pretty sure it makes me a better mommy.. so I have no plans on giving it up any time soon.

So I'm not sure if my friend believed me. Or if he thought I was just trying to sound modest. But either way.. the point is.. it kind of caught me off guard.  Funny how I want to be defined by my running... but then I find out that another's perception of me is - based on my running - is so very different than what MY perception of me is.. and I'm just a little thrown off kilter I guess.

In other news.. we (along with the rest of the Country) had a horrid deep freeze. Ten days I think below freezing. Dreading my gas bill. Eileen and Gracie were insanely stir crazy. Small ice storm, and snow stayed on the ground for a week. Unheard of down here. Half the reason I left Manhattan was because I was so sick of the cold. These past few days have been lovely. I'm sure we'll have more cold.. hopefully not for 10days at a time.  In the meantime, I'm enjoying this reprieve.  Eileen starts her 2nd semester of soccer tomorrow, and I can't wait. I love that she likes sports. And that she likes to run. Someday, maybe she'll run with Mommy. Her ridiculously long legs will probably leave me in her dust.

Happy Monday All. have a good week...

hmmm.

okkkkkkkkkkkk.   so, for whatever reason, blogspot will NOT let me upload any more photos. words can't express my irritation!

so.. the latest posting is below. and if you want to see more pictures.. you can go to our shutterfly site at http://www.eileenloebner.shutterfly.com/


grrrrrrrrrr.

Twenty Ten.. oh-ten.. Two thousand ten...

Decsions, decisions.  I'm going with 'twenty-ten'.. it seems the easiest, right?

Its the last day of my break, and I'm not at all ready to go back to work. Usually by now, I am so ready for regular. It's not that I don't like what I do.. but Q409 was super busy, and Q110 is looking to be even more so. And of course I don't take that for granted, in today's current state  - I am grateful for a job and that we have a lot going on. I just could use maybe one more week of down time.

I have, however, had some time to reflect on 2009, at least the parts I can remember. My brain is so full and always moving in fast forward, I have limited space for memory (hence, a list everywhere I turn in my world..).  But what I can remember is a lot of chaos. Chaos at work. which led to chaos at home. Which just made me feel inadequate, constantly flustered, constantly dropping the ball, constantly disappointed in myself. 

Work was chaotic due to a project that took up much of my late summer, and while it was successful - and fun - I was glad to have it wrapped up. But then I moved right into covering for someone on leave. And yes, I am first to admit, I am the one who volunteered to cover for this colleague. The project which I was to oversee was somewhat calm, didn't seem to have a lot to take on.

But hahahah. This is me we're talking about folks. I live on Candid Camera. riiiiiiiiight.  Within two weeks of me taking over the project, the bottom fell out. Due to some client changes, there was an onslaught of orders/projects to manage. I was overwhelmed. Trying to do the project, as well as my regular job, train for the marathon, and oh, I dunno, be a MOM.. I was, to say the least, thinly spread.  Behind in everything at work, behind at home- from paying bills, to cleaning, to getting stuff done for Eileen - you name it, I was behind.  It is truly a miserable feeling. 

So I'm going back tomorrow. Very much hoping that I have a better hold on things. My colleague will be back to take back the project, which helps.  That being said, there are several new processes on the books for we managers to learn, put into play, etc  - and it goes without saying they will be pretty time-consuming. I'm trying to sort out how to fit in the new stuff while still doing the old stuff, and what I will be delegating to those who may be willing.  I'm going into the year minus two on my staff, which makes my head spin.  It is only TV.. we're not saving the world.. and the work will eventually get done. I keep repeating that to myself.

Josh and I have spent a LOT of time over the past two weeks getting our house back in order (ok, actually mainly Josh).  We rearranged the bonus room. He cleaned out the bonus room. I cleaned out the desk - which was in DIRE need of some decluttering. (This would be when I realized I completely forgot to pay the November electric bill).  See what I mean? CHAOS. I am anal about the bills. Yet I just didn't pay it. Paid everything else. On time. Just never did pay the electric?! I mean really. That is when I get so very disappointed in myself, when I realize I am not keeping up.  And I get mad at myself for taking on so much. For wanting to be such a team player and overachiever that in the end, I very much underachieve.  How do I figure out how and when to say no, but yet still be a force and an achiever at home and at work?

But the house is in better shape.. still have some areas we can declutter.. but at least it feels more breathable now. That helps with starting out the New Year. I fully intended to go into the office at some point to clean my desk and sort files and set up new files, etc.  But I just couldn't. I forced myself to stay away, to answer as few emails as possible, to be as uninvolved in work as possible, at least for a few days.

All that being said, Eileen certainly helps to keep things in perspective. We've had lots of fun over the break (and my WORD she has worn us out and is one helluva chatterbox!).  Christmas was, of course, a blast. And then we went to Memphis for a few days.  She's quite the road warrior. She just hung out in her seat and watched her DVDs.  The plus is that now she can HOLD her DVD player.. which means it doesn't have to be strapped to Josh's headrest.. which means Mommy and Daddy can have music on the front speakers and NOT have to listen to Strawberry Shortcake over,.. and over.. and over..

She ruled the roost at Grandpa and Beanie's.  I think they saw Snow White more than they ever would have imagined.  They were treated to some chorus' of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer at full Toddler volume. To toddler hissy fits on the afternoons when Little Missy skipped her nap.  To spur of the moment dance recitals with the purple tutu and pink sparkle shoes.  The child is like a one man traveling circus.

They also babysat for us one night so we could go meet up with some old friends. Years ago, in fact it was that first Christmas after 9/11,  myself and a couple of friends from high school organized an impromptu reunion at a local Memphis bar.  We did it several years in a row.. and then it kind of fell off when most of us started having kids and weren't always back in Memphis for the Holidays.  But this year, due in part to Facebook, we did it again.  I don't think we'll ever have as big a turnout as we had that first year in 2001.. but we had a pretty good showing this year!

I got to see some friends I hadn't seen in YEARS.. and some who I get to see more often but still never as often as I like.  It was so fun. Weird to catch up.. some of us still in Memphis.. others of us spread from Chicago to NYC to Charlotte.. we're kind of everywhere. I'm amazed at how many of my friends are working moms with 3 kids.  It boggles my mind. How do they do it? And how do they AFFORD it? (I won't get back into the feelings of inadequacy here..). I listened in awe to these girls, thinking they are all Super Woman.

The rest of the time in Memphis we hung out with Dad and Jean and Aunt Debbie.  Eileen was, as usual, the Center of Attention. We went to the Children's Museum.. which was fantastic. Eileen had a blast.. and it was a pleasant (warm) place for her to burn some energy.  We didn't get to go to Rendevous, they were closed for the holiday. ARGH. but we did hit Houstons.. the home of the Best Chicken Tenders on the Planet. The dang things aren't even on the menu.. but those who know.. know to ask and they shall receive.   And since we now know that Eileen is indeed a road warrior, I'm all for another trip to Memphis soon.. mainly to get some bar-b-que.

Yesterday was a big day in Eileen's world.  We went to the movies! And she had a blast. We went to see "The Princess and the Frog."  Very cute. Lots of songs and such, as one would expect from Disney.  She sat in a booster seat (honestly. I'm not sure she even weighs enough to have held the seat down! it might have swallowed her up!).  She was mesmerized. Fascinated by the screen, the dark theater, the other people. She got a little ancy during the middle of the movie.. but nothing too bad. Oh, and she did love the popcorn. She was quite annoyed that she didn't get to have more when it was time to leave. HA.  So, I see many more movies in our future. And note to self.. I will be getting the kids meal for ME next time we go to the movies.. as it is way cheaper and not such an obscene amount of food.

OH. and speaking of Movies.. Josh and I managed to get to go to a movie ourselves last week. Sherlock Holmes.  I loved it. Of course, I go to the movies so infrequently, you could have sat me in front of a picture of moving mud and I'd have liked it.

So.. we're gearing up for 2010.  A mostly decluttered house. A couple of weeks worth of rest. A somewhat renewed attitude for taking on work and balancing my job with my homelife. 

A very excited attitude towards my 2010 running. I have several races in mind, and I'm running stronger (and faster) than ever. I read the other day that female runners generally hit their stride as runners in their mid-30s.. .. well, seeing as how in three days I will be thirty-five..  I guess it doesn't get much more mid-30s than that, does it?!  So, I better get my runs in and set my PRs now.. before I miss my peak!

A little girl who is growing and thriving and making us laugh every day.  And who is waking up from her nap.. so I shall sign off.

Happy New Year!