Twenty Ten.. oh-ten.. Two thousand ten...

Decsions, decisions.  I'm going with 'twenty-ten'.. it seems the easiest, right?

Its the last day of my break, and I'm not at all ready to go back to work. Usually by now, I am so ready for regular. It's not that I don't like what I do.. but Q409 was super busy, and Q110 is looking to be even more so. And of course I don't take that for granted, in today's current state  - I am grateful for a job and that we have a lot going on. I just could use maybe one more week of down time.

I have, however, had some time to reflect on 2009, at least the parts I can remember. My brain is so full and always moving in fast forward, I have limited space for memory (hence, a list everywhere I turn in my world..).  But what I can remember is a lot of chaos. Chaos at work. which led to chaos at home. Which just made me feel inadequate, constantly flustered, constantly dropping the ball, constantly disappointed in myself. 

Work was chaotic due to a project that took up much of my late summer, and while it was successful - and fun - I was glad to have it wrapped up. But then I moved right into covering for someone on leave. And yes, I am first to admit, I am the one who volunteered to cover for this colleague. The project which I was to oversee was somewhat calm, didn't seem to have a lot to take on.

But hahahah. This is me we're talking about folks. I live on Candid Camera. riiiiiiiiight.  Within two weeks of me taking over the project, the bottom fell out. Due to some client changes, there was an onslaught of orders/projects to manage. I was overwhelmed. Trying to do the project, as well as my regular job, train for the marathon, and oh, I dunno, be a MOM.. I was, to say the least, thinly spread.  Behind in everything at work, behind at home- from paying bills, to cleaning, to getting stuff done for Eileen - you name it, I was behind.  It is truly a miserable feeling. 

So I'm going back tomorrow. Very much hoping that I have a better hold on things. My colleague will be back to take back the project, which helps.  That being said, there are several new processes on the books for we managers to learn, put into play, etc  - and it goes without saying they will be pretty time-consuming. I'm trying to sort out how to fit in the new stuff while still doing the old stuff, and what I will be delegating to those who may be willing.  I'm going into the year minus two on my staff, which makes my head spin.  It is only TV.. we're not saving the world.. and the work will eventually get done. I keep repeating that to myself.

Josh and I have spent a LOT of time over the past two weeks getting our house back in order (ok, actually mainly Josh).  We rearranged the bonus room. He cleaned out the bonus room. I cleaned out the desk - which was in DIRE need of some decluttering. (This would be when I realized I completely forgot to pay the November electric bill).  See what I mean? CHAOS. I am anal about the bills. Yet I just didn't pay it. Paid everything else. On time. Just never did pay the electric?! I mean really. That is when I get so very disappointed in myself, when I realize I am not keeping up.  And I get mad at myself for taking on so much. For wanting to be such a team player and overachiever that in the end, I very much underachieve.  How do I figure out how and when to say no, but yet still be a force and an achiever at home and at work?

But the house is in better shape.. still have some areas we can declutter.. but at least it feels more breathable now. That helps with starting out the New Year. I fully intended to go into the office at some point to clean my desk and sort files and set up new files, etc.  But I just couldn't. I forced myself to stay away, to answer as few emails as possible, to be as uninvolved in work as possible, at least for a few days.

All that being said, Eileen certainly helps to keep things in perspective. We've had lots of fun over the break (and my WORD she has worn us out and is one helluva chatterbox!).  Christmas was, of course, a blast. And then we went to Memphis for a few days.  She's quite the road warrior. She just hung out in her seat and watched her DVDs.  The plus is that now she can HOLD her DVD player.. which means it doesn't have to be strapped to Josh's headrest.. which means Mommy and Daddy can have music on the front speakers and NOT have to listen to Strawberry Shortcake over,.. and over.. and over..

She ruled the roost at Grandpa and Beanie's.  I think they saw Snow White more than they ever would have imagined.  They were treated to some chorus' of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer at full Toddler volume. To toddler hissy fits on the afternoons when Little Missy skipped her nap.  To spur of the moment dance recitals with the purple tutu and pink sparkle shoes.  The child is like a one man traveling circus.

They also babysat for us one night so we could go meet up with some old friends. Years ago, in fact it was that first Christmas after 9/11,  myself and a couple of friends from high school organized an impromptu reunion at a local Memphis bar.  We did it several years in a row.. and then it kind of fell off when most of us started having kids and weren't always back in Memphis for the Holidays.  But this year, due in part to Facebook, we did it again.  I don't think we'll ever have as big a turnout as we had that first year in 2001.. but we had a pretty good showing this year!

I got to see some friends I hadn't seen in YEARS.. and some who I get to see more often but still never as often as I like.  It was so fun. Weird to catch up.. some of us still in Memphis.. others of us spread from Chicago to NYC to Charlotte.. we're kind of everywhere. I'm amazed at how many of my friends are working moms with 3 kids.  It boggles my mind. How do they do it? And how do they AFFORD it? (I won't get back into the feelings of inadequacy here..). I listened in awe to these girls, thinking they are all Super Woman.

The rest of the time in Memphis we hung out with Dad and Jean and Aunt Debbie.  Eileen was, as usual, the Center of Attention. We went to the Children's Museum.. which was fantastic. Eileen had a blast.. and it was a pleasant (warm) place for her to burn some energy.  We didn't get to go to Rendevous, they were closed for the holiday. ARGH. but we did hit Houstons.. the home of the Best Chicken Tenders on the Planet. The dang things aren't even on the menu.. but those who know.. know to ask and they shall receive.   And since we now know that Eileen is indeed a road warrior, I'm all for another trip to Memphis soon.. mainly to get some bar-b-que.

Yesterday was a big day in Eileen's world.  We went to the movies! And she had a blast. We went to see "The Princess and the Frog."  Very cute. Lots of songs and such, as one would expect from Disney.  She sat in a booster seat (honestly. I'm not sure she even weighs enough to have held the seat down! it might have swallowed her up!).  She was mesmerized. Fascinated by the screen, the dark theater, the other people. She got a little ancy during the middle of the movie.. but nothing too bad. Oh, and she did love the popcorn. She was quite annoyed that she didn't get to have more when it was time to leave. HA.  So, I see many more movies in our future. And note to self.. I will be getting the kids meal for ME next time we go to the movies.. as it is way cheaper and not such an obscene amount of food.

OH. and speaking of Movies.. Josh and I managed to get to go to a movie ourselves last week. Sherlock Holmes.  I loved it. Of course, I go to the movies so infrequently, you could have sat me in front of a picture of moving mud and I'd have liked it.

So.. we're gearing up for 2010.  A mostly decluttered house. A couple of weeks worth of rest. A somewhat renewed attitude for taking on work and balancing my job with my homelife. 

A very excited attitude towards my 2010 running. I have several races in mind, and I'm running stronger (and faster) than ever. I read the other day that female runners generally hit their stride as runners in their mid-30s.. .. well, seeing as how in three days I will be thirty-five..  I guess it doesn't get much more mid-30s than that, does it?!  So, I better get my runs in and set my PRs now.. before I miss my peak!

A little girl who is growing and thriving and making us laugh every day.  And who is waking up from her nap.. so I shall sign off.

Happy New Year!